Reader Question:

Me: 46 yrs old, African-American male, pro career, home owner, good looking, 20-year-old daughter. I date outside my personal competition. I’m in good form.

It seems around females wish to have a loyal union, they do not want to invest in me personally. I really do have a “list” of attractive characteristics — appealing, capable care for the woman funds, a social or nondrinker and an individual who is actually ready and able to travel and carry out acts.

Just why is it burdensome for ladies to dedicate as I give external signs and symptoms of willing to maintain a loyal connection?

-Mark (Ca)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Response:

Dear Mark,

Indeed, way too many women are acting like guys (or the way they THINK males behave) and are also staying away from devotion. However, i am going to tell you you may still find a lot more women that desire a protected connection than perhaps not.

I’m wondering the reasons why you may appear to-be drawn to ladies who prevent a great relationship. Could this become your option in goals?

My tip is to try to speak with ladies whom you may well not in the beginning be keen on and watch should you decide warm-up to them. Sometimes all of our inability to locate a safe connection relates to all of our anxieties of abandonment.

This means, we decided to go with lovers which cannot get near to shield you from getting “dangerously” shut and exposure abandonment.

Decide to try online dating the type of individual you’ve never, ever outdated prior to. Go slow. And watch your emotions on the way.

Do you really be easily jealous, would you like to get a handle on her time or should seal the deal too fast? The secret should contain your self and quell a fears.

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